Friday 23 September 2016

You'll Never be Czechia to me.

I apologise profusely for today's topical poem. The Independent reported this morning that the British Government are recommending we use the new name for the Czech Republic. I wrote a song to the tune of Billy Joel's Always a Woman. This is called, You'll Never be Czechia to Me.

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It was the place that I lived for about 20 years
 ate loads of fried cheese and drank lots of beers
 try to learn the language but it wasn’t easy
 but try as you might
 you’ll never be Czechia to me.

there’s beautiful cities, the countryside’s pleasing
the summers are hot, but the winters are freezing
 go to Prague or Brno you’ll like what you see.
but try as you might
you’ll never be Czechia to me.

Now, she is sick of her name
she says it’s too long
says it doesn’t sound cool.
So, she’s making a change.
Call me Czechia she says,
But I sound like a fool.

You can go there for stag dos but that would be rude.
cos there’s culture and art and buildings and food.
 it’s got everything, except for the sea.
but try as you might
you’ll never be Czechia to me.

some people still call you Czechoslovakia,
but this new name is perhaps even tackier. 
The Czech Republic is fine
as far as I can see.
so try as you might

you’ll never be Czechia to me.

Check out my short story blog here

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